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Jay-Z News: Foreign Policy and Time Travel

jay 1939Two major items of Jay-Z News this week: first, that he may have become a key player in President Obama’s Latin American policy. And more plausibly, he’s a time-travelling vampire.

The Obama thing is said to concern a recent Jigga Man jaunt to Cuba, with the president being forced to claim publicly he had better things to do than meddle in the rapper’s holiday schedules. Fair point. But then, it turns out the Pres may indeed have played a hand in Jay’s latest holiday, using him as a diplomatic ruse/assassination cover for a CIA plot to take down his old rival Tupac’s auntie.

At this point things get complicated, and ridiculous, but also worrying if true.

Assata Shakur, a former member of the Black Panthers and Black Liberation Army, was convicted of killing a New Jersey cop in the early Seventies, before escaping jail and fleeing to Cuba, where she was given political exile. Now the FTP Movement is claiming the Obama administration is using the hip-hop millionaire for more than photo ops and positive diplomacy, possibly to ‘get at’ Shakur in some way.

Using Jay-Z as a wooden horse for opening up relations with Cuba, and maybe lifting the pointless and costly embargo (as has been claimed), would seem like a positive use of America’s vast reserves of cultural capital. But sending the bro out there as a cover for getting at his dead rival’s auntie, who has been put on the Most Wanted Terrorists list, makes a mockery of US foreign policy by collating it with some 20-year-old hip-hop beef which saw Tupac and Biggie Smalls gunned down.

If that sounds too much like a conspiracy theory, or hip-hop lovers overestimating the power of their main guy, consider this: Republicans in the US Senate are up in arms about it, causing Obama to make a public denial. They believe there is something to these claims. But take from that what you will, as US Republicans are known to believe a whole heap of crazy nonsense.

Oh, and in other Jay-Z news: photos of a Jigga lookalike in a 1939 picture (see above) mean as well as a CIA spy shill, he’s also a shape-shifting, time-travelling extraterrestrial, just like something from a Jedi Mind Tricks song. As is the stuff about paranoid spy missions to Cuba. Weird.

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