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Speculation as to WTF Eminem is doing within five miles of a Skylar Grey release

Eminem and Skylar Grey

Sometimes you see a great artist collaborating with a considerably shittier performer, and you’re left wondering what in god’s name they’re thinking. Maybe they’re doing a friend a favour by giving them a leg-up, which I guess is just about fair enough, they’ve earned that right. Or perhaps the record label has been intensely lobbying the star for months and they agree, just to shut them up, and you think well that’s just the nature of the beast. Sometimes you suspect, while hoping that it isn’t the case, but really suspecting it might be, that the artist has lost all perspective of what’s good and what sucks, and this is an indicator of a Sunset Boulevard-style terminal decline in which the past-his-prime artist only comes out of hiding to make a fool of themselves in what seems like so-devilishly-perfect-it-must-be-orchestrated-from-above tittishness, and that is indeed a shame.

Often though, it’s something else entirely. Eminem’s collaboration with Skylar Gray looks to be this other thing – a case of sex getting in the way of art. Why else would he agree to appear – and make a veritable fool of himself in the video – on a track as insipid as Let Me Ride? It uses a bicycle as a metaphor for sex, for Pete’s sake. And it’s EXACTLY the kind of tripe Eminem used to mock with savage rhymes, not executive produce and appear on as guest performer. It must, then – it absolutely MUST – be because he’s boning her.

Oh, you’ve read the other possible explanations – it could be as a return favour for Skylar, whose real name is Holly Brook Hafermann – penning the chorus for his previous number one single Love The Way You Lie (ft. Rihanna)? And what’s that, you take issue with the insinuation that Eminem only values a woman performer as a sex object, but nobody speculates about possible romantic motives for championing terrible male rappers like Yelawolf and 50 Cent? Isn’t that what you’re getting at?

OK, I hear ya. As long as Skylar Grey keeps looking the way she does (hot!) and calling in performers of Eminem’s quality to appear on her medicre (at best) records, there will always be (unjustified!) rumours as to the maybe-sexual motives overshadowing the great male artist’s judgment in appearing on said records. Or at least until she produces something worthy of Eminem, there will. Which is a shame, because the problem isn’t the no-doubt wonderful and talented-yet-not-really-showing-it-yet Skylar Grey here. After all, if you could get Eminem to appear on your shitty song, and reap all the promotional benefits that comes with it, you wouldn’t exactly say no. It’s Eminem bloody fault for appearing on this dross, and drawing speculations about his possible motives.

Maybe he is just losing his mind, which makes me wish his motives are sexual. Or do I?

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